Shaking & Growing

The last week has been an interesting shake up. Shortly after the last post I began to feel a big drain on my emotions. Lack of sleep (from staying up praying) and a long day at work Thursday brought a weariness that really weighed me down. Thursday night Jono and Greg faithfully encouraged me and prayed for me – a huge reminder of the value of people around me; I cannot fight the war on my own!

Then Friday launched our FUEL Snow Camp. I was still a little tired, but praying for God to work and do some great things. God allowed me to have a great conversation with Raff… I explained some of the things that had been happening lately, but also shared my fear at losing ‘the anointing’. Did I have to keep up the immense level of prayer and seeking of God to gain the sense of joy, faith and confidence that I’d felt earlier in the week?

Raff raised the issue of high expectations: perfectionism, striving, critical attitudes; telling me of how high expectations often produce a sense of failure and criticism of other people. Unfortunately, much of it rang true. My own personal weakness and low sense of worth is often countered by a desperate reaching out for God, and a desire to do something meaningful. I’m grateful for the internal struggles which have pushed me to desire God so hungrily, and yet the inadequacy can become so crippling and defeating.

As I’ve prayed through some of those insights this week, I’ve begun to feel a real sense of peace, satisfaction, freedom – even when I haven’t accomplished something great or lived up to my mental image of what I should be like. Going through an ‘average’ day I’m beginning to just enjoy God and praise him for his amazing acceptance. I don’t need to be perfect, or ‘perform’ to gain his acceptance.

And yet, there’s the temptation to just rest in his acceptance; lie down and sleep. I still crave the fire of God to fall upon our generation; I’m hungry for changed lives and an army of disciples and kingdom warriors to arise and bring revival to our land.

How do I keep the fine balance of deep heart-felt peace, trust, contentment and sustained joy; while still giving everything I am to the cause of fighting to make the love and power of God known…not resting or giving up until my generation is free!? Mysterious dichotomy.

What can I do but pray?
Jesus is the Answerer, and my best friend. I’m in love with Him.

Just one day later and have many more stories of what God’s beginning to do… more and more people drawn into the presence of God.

(As a side note, after the word of encouragement Tuesday night, I got home and immediately received a message that seemed so discouraging in spite of what God seems to be doing lately. But…he’s working through it, growing me; and he’ll fix the problem soon enough!)

At Harvest, our Pneumatology class (study of the Holy Spirit) had a prophetic clinic – it’s amazing just spending time with a whole group of people seeking God, hungry for his presence and his word to us today. God gave me a word about waiting on the Lord for new strength, which I shared with the group. Our lecturer felt the need to pray for the chains and burdens weighing upon people, restricting their ministry and fruitfulness – wanting to be completely free of the burdens I often feel, I joined myself in that prayer.

Dropping into church, more encouragement came my way: Kerry wrote a note thanking me for my passion and for what I’m teaching people about who God is. And she gave me this quote:

“Authentic religion has to do with passion, with having passion.”
— Kierkegaard

Caroline was visibly grateful for what I’ve been doing, and when I asked about praise points and answers to prayer, she said she had a great list! She’s excited about the prayer meeting this Monday and is spreading the word to all her leaders about how amazing the last one was. I want to see a large group get touched and revived on Monday! God, take us further and deeper into you! Pour out your Spirit in abundance. Bring us to our knees in worship!

In the evening was our leaders huddle. I spent 90 minutes before-hand, just walking laps of the Waverley footy oval in the freezing cold, praying for a move of God in the house tonight, that he would bring fresh vision and a much needed touch in the lives of youth leaders. Tim joined in for the last 30 mins and together we sought God for more in FUEL and our church. We need reviving.

I asked God to pave the way through for what he wanted to do during the huddle. I find it really hard to stand up and bring God into a situation when someone else has a different agenda, and I never want to go against my pastors, but I’m so grateful for Jeff’s willingness and openness to have time for worship and prayer. With just two songs and some praise, God worked. I had the youth leaders, just seek God and ask for more. Tht we would have more intimacy with him, see more of his power in our lives. Sam spoke up towards the end with an expression of joy at how God had met him powerfully in the few minutes we had been seeking him. I believe others were moved by the Holy Spirit also, as joy and fellowship seemed to flow in the meeting from then on.

Afterward I prayed one on one for another leader and felt a rush of encouragement and hope flood back into them. I really want to minister God’s love and breakthrough power to individuals. I hope crowds and bright lights never eclipse my heart for individual hearts.

Everyone went home, but how could I sleep after that? I went back to the oval, and for another 80 minutes just praised God and interceded for those I knew needing revival. The more God does, and the more he opens me to new wonders and abilities, the more demonic attack I’m going to face. I will need people constantly upholding me and my family in prayer. But last night I told Satan where to go. And it’s not anywhere around me! And he must listen, because I have the authority and seal of the King of kings.

As I walked on the oval, my mind could see the entire ground filled with young people; singing, praying, worshiping. One day, perhaps God will bring revival in such a way that the entire football ground might be filled with people hungry to know God, and the life-changing presence of the Holy Spirit coming to heal and empower witnesses.

Revival town, that's what they're calling this place now
Revival town, it'll put a smile on your face now
Revival town

We're not on our own you know
It's all around the world
'Cos this is the freedom generation
Living for revival in this time

Hallelujah
People everywhere are singing
Hallelujah
You've turned my mourning into dancing

Well I've got a story to tell
About the King above all kings
You spoke for peace, hope, love and justice
Things that we all need today
You let a broken generation
Become a dancing generation
This revival generation

You may not hear it on the radio
But you can feel it on the air
Hallelujah, people everywhere are singing
Hallelujah, you've turned my mourning into dancing

Revival town, that's what they're calling this place now
Revival town, that's what they're calling this place now
Revival town.

— “Revival Town” by Delirious

Just now, my sister Shelley thanked me for the way our prayer & worship times have recently touched her. “I’ve just been walking around feeling pretty…numb. But at the prayer meeting, at small group, and at the leaders huddle, each time God’s just really seemed so close, and it’s bringing life back into me.” Cade, Jono and Sam would all echo that, among others. Slowly, more and more people are being drawn into the life-changing presence of the King. I’m just praying for a sustained impact, fruit that will last, and not just an emotional experience. Holy Spirit transform us.

Thursday night prayer… tonight! Woohoo! What will God do?

Tonight at Harvest

Wow… Tonight was one of the best I’ve had at Harvest. Driving there, I began with little real expectancy, but I decided to push myself, pray, and ask God for something special – that he might push us further, and grow the culture and attitude of students there. I asked God to speak to us, bring us revelation and insight.

Tonight we had Nick Tsakis, a senior pastor (ex-youth pastor) talk about issues from a senior pastor’s perspective, particularly the issue of a leader’s heart condition. Guarding your heart and keeping it pure. It was brilliant; many challenges and insights. But what particularly moved me, was his prophetic voice directly to me.

He said I had a ‘good spirit’, was ‘hungry’ and ‘asking questions’, and that recently had decided on full commitment to him, and that God wanted to honour that (read my last entry to see that!). That I was going to become someone who worked in miracles and ministered with authority. That although tension might appear from people around me who don’t understand, I was to continue seeking God and completely honour those around me, but discern when to obey or ignore their words.

Nick had never met me before, yet gave a word that was completely relevant and accurate. Praise God, for he knows our hearts, and desires to bring a word in season to encourage and build up. Father, I want to be someone that moves powerfully in the prophetic, bringing encouragement and direction to those you want to touch. Oh God, use me!

21 Days of Prayer Email

Hi to everybody out there who is still persistently praying and interceding for the youth and children at Syndal. Keep praying, don’t grow weary, for fruit is on its way – in fact some is already here!

I can’t speak for all our leaders, but I’m seeing spiritual breakthrough like nothing ever before in my own life, and those I pastor and care for. Jim Cymbala, pastor of the Brooklyn Tabernacle heard God communicate to him that his prayer meeting would be the barometer of his church, that it would determine the spiritual temperature and atmosphere among his people. Since I decided to follow that passion, God has gradually released more and more power and resources. Ministry becomes easier, my burdens become lighter, I feel stronger and less tired, I’m more aware of the spiritual world around me, I feel more love and joy, I love life…. I can crawl into bed at night with an intensely satisfying peace about life and intimacy with my ‘Dad’, a sense of awe, and a child-like excitement: “I wonder what will happen tomorrow!”

Prayer meetings are spontaneously firing up: two, three, four per week, and God moves each time in a fresh way to convict, challenge, inspire, empower and encourage. Those in the small group I lead are beginning to crave God more, wanting to spend 1 hour+ before our group meets (every week) to pray for God’s intervention, growing in loving intimacy with one another, and getting lost in worship, lasting well past our usual finishing time. Men, who are often apathetic or defeated are rising up with a bold faith to believe and trust God, and to step out in obedience.

Something is beginning amongst a few hungry young adults, that I hope and pray will spread to every corner of our church. It bears the faint smell of revival. God will one day bring revival to our nation, and I’m determined to be a part of it.

There’s been a disappointingly small number of people register for our youth snow camp this weekend, but a small number doesn’t mean a small impact. Please ask God for his amazing, transforming presence on that camp; for dramatic and lasting impact on lives; and for supernatural empowerment of the leaders.

Revival Fever

I do not know where to start writing, but I know that I must somehow record what has been happening lately… for I’ve not seen it within my church before!

I guess I should start back a few months, when a desire burned within me just to pray. Jim Cymbala from the Brooklyn Tabernacle believed that the temperature of prayer meetings would determine the spiritual temperature of the church and other ministries. So I began to pray; and with a passion. Apathy blankets me so often (and so many others I see) that I need to consistently arouse a passion to call upon God. But it’s not really that hard when you witness God moving and answering prayer, or the opposite, when you see such need around you that you become desperate. And so prayer became my most treasured activity.

21 days of Prayer

One morning as I spent time praying at church, I felt impressed to begin 21 days of focused prayer within our church – specifically for youth and children. I wrote down the ideas as they came, but didn’t do much with it initially. A few weeks went by, but the idea didn’t fade; in fact God seemed to continually remind me of it. So I set dates for the three week period to give myself a goal. Later I found out that the three weeks would conclude on FUEL’s major outreach camp of the year, and also encompass the vision team retreat (God must have planned it out!).

Two days before starting, I rushed to produce a 21-day calendar of need to be prayed for, and on the initial Sunday, visited all 3 services to build a supportive army of prayer warriors. Around 200 people took a calendar to pray over the time (exactly the target I had asked God for).

The following week, on Sunday evening we had a united prayer & worship time. With about 12 people, including youth leaders, pastors and some other supporters, we prayed and worshipped God. And something small happened that night, as God touched and encouraged people. People expressed their appreciation and thankfulness at having stayed for it. (Oh, but why only 12!) “We need this to happen more often” was a common response.

Giving it all

Last Saturday as I woke up, I felt impressed to take a walk. So I grabbed my dog Jack and took off into the park near my house. I began to praise and thank God. But on the return trip I became heavily convicted about my commitment to him. If God wanted to take my legs, and put me in a wheelchair to make me a more effective witness, would I be willing to accept it. For several minutes I couldn’t bring myself to pray… “Oh God, I….. I…. I want to…..” Until finally I decided that I wanted more than anything else to be used by God, and to allow him TOTAL FREEDOM in my life to do what he wanted. “God, I want to give you total freedom to do anything in my life to make me more effective for you. …Including taking away my legs if necessary. (Hey, maybe you’ll radically heal them anyway!) But God I want more of you!”

Thursday nights

Thursday night prayer meetings were spontaneously birthed a few weeks (months?) ago… just a few guys getting together to share and pray (mostly pray!). Every time we meet, it’s like God takes us on his own path and bypasses our own agendas.

Two weeks ago, two extra guys came along, and we began to pray for their needs and for the refreshing and filling of the Holy Spirit in those guys. It builds everyone up when we see God minister and speak to his children. Last Thursday I came feeling drained, and with less excitement than usual. Partly because I felt a weight of conviction upon me…that God wanted me to begin a stream of humble confession that night. And I was burdened until that opportunity came. But as I did it opened a massive gateway of joy into my own heart (I couldn’t help but just start laughing!) but also to intimacy and spiritual visions for the other guys. One dropped to his knees in worship because of seeing a picture of God in his glory.

The Holy Spirit is beginning to manifest his presence amongst this group of hungry guys as week truly seek God…worshiping him in spirit and in truth. And we’re praying that revival would begin in us, but then spread to our friends, small group, church, city and nation.

Small group

The small group of uni-aged young adults is next in line for the Spirit’s renewal. Last week, a portion of the group attended Prepare The Way, a movement of young adults dedicating a week to pray for Melbourne. I believe it cultured an appetite to pray and really press into God more.

Last night, I arrived 2 hours early to my small group location to setup and begin to pray. The normal 1 hour prayer meeting just didn’t seem adequate! Michael joined in for a short while and we just fell into worship, and had an amazing time praying together. As Michael left, 3 others joined in and we passionately invited the Holy Spirit into our meeting. Then we stood and listened for what God was saying to us: to individuals and our group as a whole. Numerous words of encouragement and prophecy got scrawled onto our whiteboard. God’s promises combined with our obedience will bring fulfillment!

I felt God wanted us to explore ‘transformation’ in the group that night. After dinner we talked about the amazing transformation of the disciples/apostles and the primary cause of the change: the Holy Spirit. We stood, sang, worshiped, and asked the Holy Spirit to fill us and transform our lives. I laid hands on every member of the group asking for a fresh filling of power to be a witness for Christ. I believe many received a new level of intimacy with God and the Holy Spirit. As I considered formally ending the night, another song was played and everyone just continued on worshiping God. Standing, kneeling, sitting, curled up on the floor, arms and hands raised in adoration. God blew my mind at how he might use my poor, broken gifts to touch so many people with power. I sang, prayed, danced and laughed through the rest of the evening. Gradually people left to go home, with warm hugs all-round; until 4 guys remained. A fire had been birthed in us tonight, and we weren’t finished! We stood in a tight huddle and passionately cried out in praise, thanks, and petition for more of God’s work in our lives, and those around us.

I’ve never seen a night like that amongst us. It’s something than cannot be cultured or created, but only birthed by the Spirit. I hope and pray that it’s only the beginning of something far greater. Our church, city and nation is in real need of a refreshing revival. Oh, that God would manifest himself amongst us with greater frequency and intensity.

Future…

What will the future hold? It will depend on my continued hunger for God, thirst for knowing him, humility in pointing others to him, and courage to stand and fight against the work of the enemy, and well-meaning Christians who threaten to quench the Spirit. God, I want to be part of the coming revival to Australia. Use me to build a core team of warrior-leaders that will recruit an army that ushers in lasting and sustained revival to Melbourne, Australia, and other nations of the world.